and now… the Absolute Beginning

Today I started doing something about something, and soon I was doing lots of somethings.

Four months ago I was in my best biking shape ever. I did the AIDS/LifeCycle ride from San Francisco to Los Angeles, and (except for the the first rainy and freezing day, when I stopped early) I had no problem riding all day for a week. Even the hills we were warned would be challenging weren’t a problem. I felt great!

…until the day after I got back and COVID kicked in. I’ve had no permanent issues from it (that I know of), but it meant I went from a week of focused exercise to ten days of nearly not moving while I isolated and recovered. Since then, the world has been full of a range of inconveniences (including but not limited to: waiting for bike parts, Katherine’s health, heat waves, visitors, and going back to school) that have kept me from getting back into a regular routine. It all culminated with yesterday, a day when I did nothing physical and ate way too much tasty stuff.

Cut to yesterday, when a certain weirdo billionaire took over a certain short-form social media company and I decided that was a sign I should quit Twitter.

Then I thought that it would be a good idea to also quit the other social media company run by a weirdo billionaire and decided to leave Facebook as well.

Then I thought it would be a good moment to do a full reset and consider today a new start. So, today is officially Reset: Day One. I went for a nice ride that was comfortably within my current ability and ate a tiny bit better. The plan: keep doing that. Not pushing to do double century rides and eating only superfoods; just riding and eating reasonably.

Let’s see how it goes!

69 HOURS!

Oh my friends, we are nearly at the start of the big ride! Sunday at 6AM, the 545 mile ride from San Francisco to Los Angeles begins. I’m excited, nervous, overwhelmed… all that good stuff. I probably won’t post anything until I get home, but if you’d like to track me when I’m riding you can use this link:

https://www.wahooligan.com/users/live/WJU6CN_H_HqEJJo9lGTLFQ

That will let you see where my bike computer thinks I am, if it’s on. If it’s off you’ll see the last ride I tracked with it.

TWO. WEEKS.

14 days until the ride! YIKES!

Big thanks to Taylor Swift for having two separate videos I could pull number clips from. I also looked for Alice Cooper singing “Eighteen,” but none of the clips quite worked. But this performance is pretty great:

I picked up that spare tube from Rad Bikes, and I’m sure glad I did. Next time you’re in Monrovia (which is NOT Montrose), tell them I said thanks! And if you ride: CARRY A SPARE TUBE, YA DINGUS.

FUN MONROVIA FACT: In 2006 Katherine & I got married there. I had a dumb beard. We also wore bananas on our heads.

It turns out Morris Dam was actually named after Samuel B. Morris, the chief engineer for the dam. The lesson: work hard, make things, and some day people will use those things to make lame jokes about TV characters.

This is the best picture I could find of the guy.

At the first Starbucks I say that it’s “student sponsored” because I’m using the gift cards I got as appreciation gifts from students. I rarely go to Starbucks so I have a ton credit there. Thanks, students!

That chunk of PCH is actually part of the full AIDS/LifeCycle ride, so I’ll be back there in a couple of weeks. With luck I won’t get another flat.

That ice cream from Mateo’s Ice Cream was GREAT. Banana ice cream with chocolate and peanuts, AND a fancy drip catcher! Totally worth the stop.

SPONSOR MY RIDE!

The other day someone saw my donation page and said “Wow, you have some generous friends.” It’s true, I do. But they also seemed intimidate by the size of the donations.

Folks, you don’t have to give thousands or hundreds of dollars. If you can do that it’s greatly appreciated, but I absolutely don’t want you to feel like you have to do that. Want to help but can only spare five bucks? Great! Go to http://tofighthiv.org/goto/gattuso and give whatever you can. Want to help but you can’t afford to donate? Great! Share the link to my sponsor page.

Thanks for supporting my ride. You are awesome!

Vic’s Vacant Lot

The bits of bookend video in this are from a 1983 show called Vic’s Vacant lot. Tennis pro Vic Braden sits in a lot with kids and talks about games. Then he watches as the kids chase each other on bikes without wearing helmets. Looks very safe!

Mulholland Drive

I felt bad for the tour buses on this ride. The valley was fogged in. I’m guessing there was a lot of “Normally, you can see…” added to to the standard script.

Also: I’ve never seen David Lynch’s Mulholland Drive. Maybe I should watch that some day.

The 1974

Not much to say about these rides, so let’s use the “74 days left” thing as an excuse to link to a bunch of YouTube videos of TV and movies from 1974. That’s right, it’s the blog post version of a clip show!

New TV for 1974

All shows in 1974 starred Angie Dickinson

While there are a ton of classic shows that premiered in 1974, I think everyone’s favorite moment of TV every week was when the little kid from Little House on the Prairie would eat it running down a hill in the opening credits.

“Let’s show her concussion every week! People will love it!”

Movies of 1974

If you want to see how much the variety of movies has narrowed in the last half century, just look at the trailers for some of the stuff you could have watched in a theater in 1974.

And the most popular science fiction film of all time:

I know there’s still a wide range of visual entertainment out there through television and streaming, but I do miss the days of going to a movie theater and discovering weird things in a dark room full of strangers.

Hey! Donate!

Go here and sponsor my ride! It supports the Los Angeles LGBT Center and the San Francisco AIDS Foundation. Save lives!

Thanks for being awesome!

The Mystery of Mooncrest Drive

My main biking goal right now is to get ready for AIDS/LifeCycle, but I’m trying whenever possible to work in my “ride every street in the San Fernando Valley” project. I’m not quite two-thirds of the way done.

64.54%. Not bad, right? Looks pretty full.

The “untraveled” map tells the real story.

I’ve done nearly all of the flat areas that are close to home, so now I’m starting to get deeper into the twisty little streets in the hills. Sometimes that means I find weird stuff usually hidden from the hoi polloi who crawl around the floor of the valley. Yesterday’s discovery was Mooncrest Drive, where the Fancy Lads are unhappy to have their lives interrupted for the entertainment of the masses.

I can’t figure out exactly what triggered these people so much that they’d go to the trouble of getting signs made, but I did find a couple of clues. The first was this article from last year that isn’t specifically about Mooncrest Drive, but features a 2020 picture of the street with the “FILMING NOT WELCOME” signs visible in the background.

The problem is that it doesn’t say what production was filming, so that wasn’t much help.

Then I found this page on a Twin Peaks blog. I thought that might have been the source of the complaint, but Twin Peaks filmed four years earlier and the signs look newer. And the scene was so short that it would have wrapped before the neighbors had a chance to organize. Also, it was used for a nondescript scene featuring a very minor character, so I wouldn’t be surprised if it was a one day second unit shoot.

Everyone still talks about the scene where the nurse leaves the secretary’s house.

The only other thing I found was that Norman Lear used to live on Mooncrest Drive, but I have no idea if it was even this section of the street.

Brian could figure this out.

A couple of unrelated pictures!

Disney loves to find off model versions of their characters on a beat up truck selling “soft serve ream.”

Now, Donate!

The Los Angeles LGBT Center and San Francisco AIDS Foundation do great work helping people live healthy, safe lives. Go to my AIDS/LifeCycle sponsor page and make a donation. Anything you can give helps! Thanks!

100!

100 days. A little over three months. It’s going to be bonkers. I’m going to have fun, but I’m also freaking out a bit. Well, maybe more than a bit. You help me freak out less by sponsoring my ride. And a ton of employers will match your donations, so you get to pay once but give twice- neat!

When I make these goofy little videos, I always spend way too much time looking for little bits of related audio & video. Sometimes I get lucky and find something like Mark Ronson’s “The Bike Song.” I fun and appropriate song I’ll actually listen to.

Sometimes I’ll find songs that I like but aren’t quite right for the video, like this Del Vikings song that’s about a flat tire, but not the right kind of flat tire.

Or this great 8 bit version of bicycle race that I couldn’t find a place for:

Sometimes I find clips of movies I can’t believe I once thought were funny.

Casual racism AND forced alcohol poisoning? HILARIOUS.

And sometimes I find… this.

Honestly, his videos have higher production quality than mine.

Now sponsor my ride and save some lives!

Hey! Did you hear that 2021 is ending?

When do we get the Mystery Men Cinematic Universe? WE NEED THE MMCU!

It’s true!

FREE LEAVES!

This is proof that the length of my ride has nothing to do with the amount of video I record. 36 miles for a dumb leaf joke.

Send me a sign

I didn’t edit the Hollywood Sign video at all. ANGELS REALLY SANG.

Don’t look at me- I’m a monster!

Every single Cookie Monster costume in a basic google search looks better than this one. And yes, I’m including the onesie and the t-shirt.

Chihuahua Cookie Monster is an abomination — Okay, maybe not this one.

I’m also not sure what Cookie Monster has to do with an observatory. Does “The Big Dipper” secretly refer to how he puts cookies in milk?

Frakulated

THE HERKIMER BATTLE JITNEY LIVES.

Side note: Katherine can’t stand the music of Tom Waits, but often likes his acting. The five and a half seconds of him talking here is probably perfect for her.

If you’re wondering why this video ends with an odd version of Smashmouth’s “All-Star”: The song was featured on the Mystery Men soundtrack, and the video for the song includes scenes from the movie. And if you’re wondering where that weird version came from: Neil Cicierega, a man responsible for 98% of the internet’s comedy (seriously, check his wikipedia page), put out FOUR albums of remixes/mashups/reworks/homages featuring “All Star.”

I’m not sure, but I think Paul Rubens might have lifts in his boots.

End the year on a good note

…and sponsor my ride! You can make the world a better place. Isn’t that cool? Just $271 puts donations for 2021 at $3500.

Okay, that’s probably the last post for 2021. Happy new year, everyone!

The Streets of the San Fernando Valley

I spent far too long on the five second “Streets of ~~San Francisco~~ San Fernando Valley” opening.

Nothing to do with Lily Munster

Lilley Hall (the place with its own Instagram account) is probably best known these days for their fancy displays for Halloween and Christmas, but its name from previous resident Joseph J. Lilley, a composer/songwriter/orchestrator who worked on a ton of movies. His home is right up the street from Bob Hope’s place. They worked on a lot of the same movies. I wonder if they ever carpooled to Paramount.

About that “apricot versus apricot” thing

Apparently, it’s more common to say APPricot in America, and APEricot in the UK, but don’t tell the Cowardly Lion.

Deflater Maus

If you’re going to have those inflatable yard things, you have to accept that your power bill will be gigantic and leave the things on all the time until you take them down.

Also: Are Star Wars AT-ATs considered “Christmassy” just because we saw them on an Ice Planet? We also saw them on Crait, and that place is covered in salt.

Rosco(e)

Rosco P. Coltrane actually spells his name without the “e.” Roscoes who actually have an “e: include:

Donate!

There are only about two weeks left of 2021, and donations are reallllly close to $3500. You could be the one to take it over the top. The Los Angeles LGBT Center and San Francisco AIDS Foundation work all year to provide health care and health justice for tons of people living with HIV/AIDS, and anything you can give helps them provide those vital services. Please donate what you can!

Donation link!

Donation link!

Donation link!

Thank you for helping. You are awesome!

Out to CSUN

Bring me all the streets

While I’m training for AIDS/LifeCycle, I’m also still working on my “ride every street in the San Fernando Valley” project. Just like national COVID vaccinations, I’m currently around 60% done. Also just like national COVID vaccinations, the rate of completion has plateaued.

Guess which corner of the Valley I live it.

I’ve pretty well saturated all the available roads near where I live, so I end up riding ten miles in one direction just to get to where I’m picking up new streets. “But Luke,” you say, “why don’t you just drive your bike to the other side of the Valley so you don’t have to ride 20 miles to pick up another five?”

Good point.

I just feel a little silly going through all the hassle of loading my bike on the car so I can tool around random neighborhoods. I mean, I’ve done it, but it feels like it defeats the purpose of riding a bike.

I don’t know what I like, but I know art

My quest to cover all of the roads sometimes leads me to odd places. Yesterday’s ride to the North end of Tampa included a surprise visit to the CSUN Art department. No one was there, but there’s some outdoor artwork.

Life and Taxes

Now it’s time for you to save lives. Don’t worry, it’s easy. Donate to sponsor my AIDS/LifeCycle ride and give people with HIV/AIDS the health services they need to survive. You also get a tax deduction for helping. BONUS: your employer might match your donation. When you donate you’ll get information about how that works.

Thank you for being awesome and donating. You rock like a hurricane.